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My dark passanger

Anyone who has seen the series Dexter is familiar with the term ‘dark passenger.’

I, too, have a dark passenger. Don’t worry, mine does not compel me to hurt or kill anyone. But I feel there are similarities. Mine is always with me. Lurking beneath the surface. A part I feel can not show people. I don’t think they would understand it or would be scared of it. (I cant blame them, I don’t…

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I am ‘one of those people’

I am ‘one of those people’

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It seems I’ve become very popular lately. A lot of people are talking about me. Politicians, pundits, strangers, protesters, family and friends posting things about me on Facebook.

Because I am ‘one of them’. I am one of the people ‘living off the government’. I am one of the people who ‘pay no taxes’. I am one of the people ‘you are paying for’.

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According to the people talking about me, I’m…

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Diagnosis

Sorting through some paperwork recently I came across some doctors notes. They were mostly dated around March and April 2000. There are still some words I don’t know the meaning of and probably couldn’t pronounce. But I did understand the part about him suspecting a diagnosis of multiple sclerosis.

Let’s back up a bit. For about a year or so before this i had been living alone with my dog…

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what do you want to be when you grow up?

Live your dreams! You can be anything you want to be! Don’t forget to be awesome!

These aren’t things I was told as a kid. But I seem to be inundated with now. 
Sure, they sound nice and are probably mostly true. (I’d love to be an ice skater, but seeing as I can’t walk without a cane, I’m fairly certain that one isn’t going to happen.)


The problem is, I don’t know what that is. I don’t know…

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cognitivedissonance:

darthmobius:

cognitivedissonance:

I have bronchitis. Thanks to the ACA, I was able to get medicine for $0. #ThanksObama

LIES.

that came from taxes I paid.

Well, let my know how much I owe you and I’ll drop a few pennies in the mail. War comes from taxes you paid, and I personally dislike the amount I pay going for that… Maybe we should check “yes” or “no” on our 1040 forms this year for allocation of tax dollars.

I’m sorry you think I’m lying, but I’m not. I qualified for the Medicaid expansion under the ACA, which is partially funded through taxpayer revenue. I don’t think the IRS mailed you a letter saying, “Nah nah nah nah naaaaaaah! This year’s tax dollars went to pay for medicine for poor people mwahahaha!” Who knows? Maybe YOUR portion of tax dollars went to a Hellfire missile that took out a village in Afghanistan. Ooh, how exciting for you!

Comfort yourself with that thought as I use my inhaler, which I would not have been able to afford without the ACA.

Live your dreams! You can be anything you want to be! Don’t forget to be awesome!
These aren’t things I was told as a kid. But I seem to be inundated with now.
Sure, they sound nice and are probably mostly true. (I’d love to be an ice skater, but seeing as I can’t walk without a cane, I’m fairly certain that one isn’t going to happen.)
The problem is, I don’t know what that is. I don’t know what my ‘dreams’ are. I don’t know what or even who I want to be. Hell, half the time I’m not entirely sure of who I am at this moment. (I asked siri, as usual, she was not helpful. I wonder if Joaquin Phoenix would let me borrow his phone.)
But I can’t help feeling like there is something I’m supposed to be doing.  I was recently ‘laid off’ from my job at a small town newspaper, unexpectedly after ten years. I’m hoping there was a bigger reason than I was just the easiest to get rid of. (To be fair, that is actually true.)
So, what am i good at? Not anything in particular. I think most of my skills are pretty mediocre. I’ve been told I’m pretty good at writing letters to my government officials; which I used to do pretty regularly.  But that hardly parleys into a career or life path. I’ve been told I should write a blog. Half the world seems to have that pretty well done.
I like to think I’m funny. And I do love comedy in pretty much any form. (I’d rather listen to stand-up comedians than music, most of the time.) I like to text ‘jokes’ to my sister to see if I can make her laugh. (Last week she got ‘tweets from sharks’.) I’ve thought about taking an improv class. Not because I think i’d be good at stand-up, but more to get over anxieties and shyness.
I’m an ok writer. With the exception of poor grammar and punctuation skills and a tendency to be long winded and over/improperly use parentheses. My ex-publisher told me once I write like I talk. I think it was a compliment.
Ok, I think I may have lied to you before. There is something I might really like to do. Travel and write about it. I think having a disability I could write for people like me who may be apprehensive to travel. I’d like to help tell them about my experiences in particular places and what works and what doesn’t. (I took a trip to New York City a few years ago with a motorized scooter with a not so great turning radius. Needless to say, getting on an off the buses and subway trains was at times a pain in the ass and an exercise in driving/stuntman skills.)
I haven’t the foggiest idea how to accomplish that. Or if i’d be good at it. Or could make money at it. Or if anyone would even be interested in what I have to say. Would I need to take a writing class? Probably. Or find an editor who wouldn’t hang themselves after fixing my mistakes? Who would be my travel companion? I supposed the bigger question would be where would I get the funds to do such a thing.  Travel isn’t cheap. And I don’t have a job.
I’m also awkward at wrapping things up.

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